Thursday, December 21, 2017

Neofeud Is 40% Off In The Winter Sale!

Happy Cyberpunk Holidays! May your dystopian reality be slightly less grim for the next few weeks. :)

Also, thanks everybody who voted for Neofeud in IndieDB! Neofeud made it to the Top 100 Indie Games Of 2017 (Apparently out of over 10,000). We'll see if we beat Cuphead! (Not likely but one can hope!

Saturday, December 16, 2017

The Space Quest Historian Plays Neofeud!

I'm honored to have The Space Quest Historian, a prominent and very entertaining personality in the adventure game world, doing a let's play series of Neofeud!

It's a great video series so far, very funny and enjoyable generally. :)
Space Quest Historian site:

In addition, Neofeud has made it to the top 100 Indie Game of the Year list! Neofeud can use your vote, and it only takes a moment! (No registration necessary!) 

Monday, December 11, 2017


NEOFEUD MADE IT TO THE TOP 100 INDIES OF THE YEAR! Thanks everyone for your votes and support! Neofeud can now use your vote again in the final round for ultimate indie of the year on IndieDB!

In addition, I just had a great talk with @PeaHeadGames creator of Neon Sword, cyberpunk RPG where you can use commerce or violence as your weapon of choice!
User Posted Image
Some of Neon Sword's Game features:
-Explore the neon bathed Quaid City.
-A living breathing city with a diverse population.
-Buy real estate and influence the city around you.
-Collect different and unique clothing items.
-Kit yourself out with entire arsenal of hardcore weaponry.
-A deep branching storyline.
-Save the city or run it into the ground it's your choice

This next Silver Spook Podcast will be coming soon here:
You can support future SIlver Spook Games and Silver Spook Podcasts, where I help great indie game makers and other creators get the word out about their games, over here:

User Posted Image
Next, here are a couple more reviews recently published on Neofeud:
This first one is in Spanish (sorry) and I wish I was fluent so I could read this great Neofeud review in its native language, but thankfully there is Google translate!
"A much more complex world than what is shown in Blade Runner, which inspired it, and this game also poses itself as a more in-depth and realistic reflection of the dilemma insinuated by the replicants."
"From the point of view of music and dubbing Neofeud has nothing to envy of major titles."
The reviewer also compared Neofeud with Neil Blomkamp and District 9, which is a high complement for me, since I consider D-9 as one of if not the greatest sci-fi film of the past few decades.

And one more review from Save Or Quit:
"Neofeud is a carefully crafted story that plays out like an interactive detective/mystery movie from the 80’s... This is a game for players who like to enjoy a good science fiction story set in a world that feels familiar and possible in the near future."
And finally, my Deus Ex 1 total conversion Terminus Machina has been featured on IndieDB's sister site, ModDB! Thanks for the highlight, guys! You can also see a video of me replaying this mod that I made about 7 years ago with developer commentary.

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Neofeud for "Indie of the Year"!

Hey guys, it's that time of the year! If you liked Neofeud, please consider voting for it for 2017 "Indie of the Year" on IndieDB!

If you haven't played it yet, you can find Neofeud on or on Steam!

Here is some background on the game:

"The art, writing, programming and music* of Neofeud was created by one person, Christian Kealoha Miller, also known as 'Silver Spook'. He also performed half of the voice acting. Christian is a Native Hawaiian, born and raised in Hawaii. Neofeud is a Dystopic Cyberpunk adventure game in the vein of Blade Runner, but with an overlay of Game of Thrones-like political intrigue, and 1366x768, hand-painted, stylized visuals.

The art, stories and gameplay of Neofeud are a reflection of my experiences as a STEM teacher for the underserved youth of Honolulu’s inner city. Teaching robotics, programming, and sustainability is an often difficult, stressful, and even Kafka-esque endeavor -- being in one of the richest, most beautiful places on Earth, yet dealing with families with working parents, who are living out of a van, or sleeping on the street. It is hard trying to keep the kids out of gangs, off of drugs, and on a path towards better opportunities, such as the ones I had growing up in a slum area of paradise while going to an upscale private school. I made Neofeud to be a fun and engaging game in and of itself, but I also wanted the player to think about the society in which we live, as well as the one which we may be heading toward if nothing is done."

Here's a roundup of some of the articles this year on Neofeud:

Read the rest of this article from Native Hawaiian Print Pubication, the Ka Wai Ola.

"A Diamond Of Storytelling In The Scrap Pile... The characters of Neofeud are developed so much more than characters in nearly any other game I’ve recently played" --Sprites And Dice

"'Cyberpunk-Fueled Noir.' Reminiscent of Beneath a Steel Sky and I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream... The art, gameplay, music and story come together to deliver a solid game." --Indie Ranger

“An ambitious, atmospheric cyberpunk scenario and essentially the work of a single person (voice acting excluded). Oh, and it might also be one of the best adventure games I have played in a while... The world building is something else. It has a thickness, a density to it."

"This spectacular and complex story will take at least 12 hours to play through, and the writing is excellent and enjoyable." --3rd Strike

"Science fiction at its most raw and visceral... Neofeud doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable subject matter. It gave me chills and made my stomach roll... It made me uncomfortable to listen to and watch…but that is the entire point. I can’t turn a blind eye in the game, and I certainly can’t turn a blind eye in real life." --Steamshovelers

"An immersive cyberpunk adventure game... Echoes of H.R. Giger and William Gibson... [Christian Miller] knows what makes a quality game." --Brandon C. Hovey

"I loved the quirky but fantastic hand-painted visuals, the gruff, cynical humour." --Gaming Respawn

Here's one of my favorite Neofeud reviews from Steam user Jungle.James who really went deep into the larger ideas explored in Neofeud, and seems to have really 'got' what I was aiming for with this cautionary tale:
Neofeud is the most visionary game on Steam evocative of the creator's passion, sparing what Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain could have been. Never have I seen a game produced by such a small studio translate a vision so well.

It is a point and click adventure game wherein each line of dialogue is voice acted, and each scene has a MSPaint charm while expressing pure imagination, for example a chateau's ceiling where there is a painting of nearly infinite patterns, reflecting the royal's fascination with the godhead of technological transcendence.

In sum, Neofeud considers the following:

- UBI controlled slums filled with transgenic and outdated synthetics / androids deemed non-sentients and refuse.
- DRM cigarettes.
- Hypermodernity through a Baudrillardian simulation and simulacra of "consensus reality" interested rulers.
- The sythesis of the contemporary prison and military industrial complexes.
- Scepticism of the motives from those like Elon Musk who promote optimal adjustments to capitalism or late stage capitalism. Authenticity in social movements and how they're frequently co-opted; references to Public Enemy vs Kanye West.
- What dwells in the abyss that is the coming convergence of science, technology, and society.

If any of those topics interest you on a philosophical, economic, or social level and would like those topics paired with often times silly voice acting (for the better overall end results), please play Neofeud.

edit: A lot of soul went into this project, and it shows.
And here are a few more interviews I did surrounding the game:

A discussion on games, gaming and life with Christian Miller ( talking with Brandon C. Hovey)

Another interview with Erik Meyer of IndieGraze

And here is one final review by Fitz (Talos voice actor and a cool creative guy generally) on the also cool site of CaptainD (I am a Patreon of his!):

"The soundtrack -- created by Silver Spook himself -- consists of various flavors of electronica; an obvious choice, given the futuristic setting. And indeed it fits in perfectly. It's minimalistic when it needs to emphasize the dreariness of the slum world. Action sequences, in turn, are punctuated by a pounding beat -- whereas a distorted piano plano creates a watercolor-like backdrop to some of the game's most powerful moments of existential reverie. As mentioned already, the game is a full talkie. It's something that's expected of a modern game -- but the workload and the quality are actually impressive."

And here is Christian performing "Proto-J", a short story set in the world of Neofeud. The story is performed in the voice of the character whom Christian voice-acts in the game.

You can find more short stories in The Neofeud Short Story Collection
Here are some of my other projects:

Terminus Machina: a Deus Ex total conversion

Dysmaton - a post-apocalyptic cyberpunk adventure (in development)

And finally, here is a hangout with a bunch of the folks who helped make Neofeud possible, including my long-time patrons Deborah Dunaway and Scott Smigiel. Deborah also voice acted several characters in the game. Chris R. Smith and Brandon C. Hovey, two great voice talents are also present. The other major voice actors and actresses who couldn't make it were Amayirot Akago and Mrs. Silver Spook / Holly The Robot.

(*I created 43 out of the 45 songs of the Neofeud soundtrack, the other two were by Scott Smigiel. he created many more, but due to changes I made later in the game, I only ended using a couple -- my bad. However, the tracks themselves were great, and you should go and check his stuff out!)

Friday, November 24, 2017

Giving Thanks To Indies :)

If you missed it, here is the Silver Spook Thanksgiving Stream! I will also be streaming again doing game dev this Saturday, so be sure to stop by! If you are a developer, I will generally give you a shoutout mid-stream just for stopping in. :)

Silver Spook and friends and family join in to rebel against unfettered corporate capitalism and neocolonialism in a cyberpunk Thanksgiving special. Special Guests include Chaos Nova, Peahead Games, Future Vintage Gaming, and Mrs. Silver Spook.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Neofeud is 33% Off + Thanksgiving Livestream Party!

So first off, Neofeud is 33% off this week on Steam!

And the big news is I will be streaming live on my Youtube channel on Thanksgiving at 11 AM
Pacific Time!

Come hang out! :D In addition to the above mentioned hijinx, I will also likely be doing a bit of gamedev and making some announcements on the upcoming Silver Spook Games projects.
No turkeys were harmed in the making of this poster!

Next up, I am happy to announce that I am currently in the process of porting Neofeud to Mac, and have a potential solution in the works! I can't give any specific dates on a release, but it is definitely in the pipeline. :)

In addition, here is the most recent Silver Spook Podcast where I talk to the creator of cyberpunk strategy game Spinnortality:

In this episode, Silver Spook speaks with Jamie Patton, creator of Spinnortality, a groundbreaking cyberpunk game in mid-Kickstarter. Cyberpunk strategy/management game. In Spinnortality, you, "Run a global megacorporation. Manipulate culture, destroy governments and become immortal."
Spinnortality website:
Spinnortality kickstarter:
Follow Jamie:

Sunday, November 12, 2017

The Phosphorous Endarkenment - (Neofeud II Teaser)

(What follows is some teaser-material from Neofeud II)

The Phosphorus Endarkenment

Welcome to the The Phosphorus Endarkenment - A purported 'News Site'. An alleged 'Fake News Site'. A decried, 'Social Justice Cancer on the Nine Worlds.' A, "Weaponized disinformation scourge manufactured by the Sovions," according to the Ubizon-owned Coastlandia Post.

And, according to blue-screened mad-men on the outer spiral arms of Jovian prison-colonies, "A salvo of diatribes 'Against The Day' we live in, thinly Trojan Horsed into an SEO-optimized series of clickbait-ey quasi-game-reviews, run through AI internet-addictiveness algorithms into blackest cyber-heroin. Shoot that into your crooked alt-reality vein, motherflackers."

White phosphorus; after cluster bomb sub-munitions, the weapon-of-choice for immolation of hospital workers and innocent non-white, non-human children in some-country-with-resources, and other tokens in the massively multiplayer idle-game that is our un-Holy Roman Collapsar.

Phosphorus. A solid, nonmetallic element. In one of three allotropic forms, it is yellow, poisonous, flammable, and luminous in the dark.

The stricken match, the igniting flame, painful brightness. The color of nuclear flash, the color of orgasm. Ecstasy and annihilation.

The Enlightenment; also known, however correctly and erroneously, as "The Age of Reason". Aufklärung. Demise of monarchy. Came to advance ideals like liberty, progress, tolerance, fraternity, equality, constitutional government and separation of church and state.

The Enlightenment; an age whose time and ideas have wholly passed, de facto, though infinite jesters, such as this one, continue to lob molotov phosphorus pixel-howls into the banal, painful, Neofeudal goodnight.

Non Omnis Moriar.

I shall not wholly die.

The future will grow from something. If that something is the irradiated periplaneta laying eggs in pillars of ash left standing after the antimatter blastwaves, the post-anthro nano-computronium seeds of a paperclip-pushing Accelerando panspermia, or some semblance of those fleshy-assed hypersynaptic monkeys we're rapidly no longer being, it will be something. Life Finds A Way, even through darkest, eldritch midnight.

Phosphorus Endarkenment.


(End Transmission)

Friday, November 10, 2017

Silver Spook Podcast #9 - Mark Yohalem, Writer of Primordia

In this episode, Silver Spook speaks with Mark Yohalem, writer of Primordia, a legendary sci-fi point-and-click adventure game and a big inspiration behind Neofeud. Mark and yours truly discuss the State of Adventure Games which somewhat resembles that of Schrodinger's Cat (never quite alive or dead!), Primordia and the making thereof, Mark's exciting new 'mythological, mid-apocalypse RPG' in development with Wormwood Studios, some insider game-dev shop-talk, Unity vs Adventure Game Studio pros and cons, Mark's and my favorite cyberpunk, the difference between depressing and melancholy, the psychological selling-points of post-apocalypses, why appellate lawyers may be cannibal shishkebabs in said apocalypse, and much more! Wormwood Studios (Mark's indie game company): Follow Mark on Twitter: Neofeud:

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

K'nossos - A True Work Of Art (And A Great Sci-Fi Game)

If you believe that games can and should be elevated to true works of art, if you believe that we are not doomed to a Idiocracy-esque downward spiral into a hypermodern nightmare of fascist n-word spewing online game culture or neoliberal lowest-common-denominator loot-box late-capitalism or some combination thereof, then you're in for a treat with K'nossos.

Svarun Games has just launched their K'nossos Kickstarter today, for what might be the most original-looking game I have seen in eons. In the time it takes to travel to Alpha Centauri in non-FTL cryo sleep, you might never find another game like this one.

Here's a quick synopsis:

"K’NOSSOS is a classical science fiction point-and-click adventure game which follows the story of a lone passenger aboard a huge interstellar colonization ship traveling the unknown reaches of the cosmos, and the things he uncovers on his journey."

Having recently played the demo, I can say that K'nossos is a point-and-clicker's delight, especially if you're a fan of sci-fi. While puzzle difficulty can be somewhat subjective depending on how experienced you are and your personal preference, I can say that K'nossos appears to be in that Goldilocks Zone of 'not-too-easy, not-too-hard'. The plot itself is intriguing thus far, and chock-full of Star Trek-quality technobabble if that's your thing. (I'm watching ST: Discovery right now, but "Dune" or "Stasis" (the 3D point-and-click) might be closer, style-wise.) All in all, what I gathered of the science fictional story is already intriguing—this xenomorphic, xeno-aesthetic creature definitely has claws that drag the player into its Byzantine, fascinating depths.

Most remarkable though, is the art. K'nossos' abstract expressionist art style really gives this game an other-worldy feel, almost like touring a virtual high-art museum. Like a surreal daymare as experienced by a Picasso/Kandinsky fused mind. I can say, hands down, I haven’t seen a game that even attempts to do what is being done in K’nossos.

The sound track has similar megawatt-inspiration going on here, and reminds me of my MUS 412 - Post-Modernism In Music class in university, with a lot of Eastern and atonal intervals infusing meditative electronica soundscapes. It’s definitely got a feeling all its own!

So, if like me, you believe the Blade Runner 2049 box-office numbers mean that we should encourage a less-lazy, more sophisticated audience/culture, rather than dumbing everything down with explosions every 10 seconds and pretty faces, then check out and support K'nossos.

Two (three?) thumb-like, cubist appendages up—and I look forward to the full game!

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Should Games Have Social Commentary?

"Make America Nazi Free Again" is controversial to say in 2017. The reactions to Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus' recent marketing campaign are a sad bellwether of the low point we're at, generally.

But I did find it interesting that Bethesda is trying to make it abundantly clear that their latest Wolfenstein title is not social commentary, and any perception thereof is merely incidental. This is certainly true in the case of this game, but it does beg a larger question: should games have social commentary? What role do games play in culture generally?

Guilty pleasure games are fun. I'm a huge Doom fan. I like to chill out and twin-stick-shoot my stresses away from time to time, just as much as the next gamer. Junk food tastes good. But if all you eat every day is double bacon burgers and French fries, you're going to ruin your body, and one day you're going to have that massive heart attack.

We are having the cultural equivalent of a massive heart attack. Online gaming culture is hugely toxic, with Pewdie Pie's fiasco revealing the tip of that ugly iceberg. And beyond the world of gaming, we have flag-waving, Swastika-wearing Nazis marching through American streets. Half the country is in poverty, several dozen cities have poison for drinking water, and our infrastructure is collapsing.

Escapism in entertainment is great, and sometimes necessary. But if everyone just escapes to the virtual, the real will just continue to get worse.

I believe that generally, yes, games should strive to engage with the society in which they exist, where possible.

This doesn't mean that games all need to be thirty-minute "walking simulators" which simply communicate a message, without much more "game" there. Games can, and I believe should, be *both* compelling, engaging, experiences, as well as thought provoking, challenging journeys that are relevant to the society in which they are created. At the very least, games should not promote negativity. Sort of a hippocratic oath for gamedevs: "Do no harm".

Technobabylon examines the great potentialities of technology to better society, as well as the pitfalls of techno-addiction, disconnection, and abuse. It is a great example of a game that handles diversity incredibly well, treating characters, "As characters first" with gender, sexual orientation, race, etc. being just another facet. Planescape Torment and Undertale are fun, yet challenge players to think about the nature of RPGs, among other things.

Deus Ex not only revolutionized gaming by introducing the FPS/RPG hybrid, but touched on a plethora of topics from transhumanism to mass-surveillance to the need to 'question everything', especially information sources -- something increasingly relevant in our milieu of 'fake news' of all sorts. Games like Fortnite are suggesting that a positive online gaming experience not filled with slurs and hate is indeed possible.

I spent about 2 1/2 years making a cyberpunk point-and-click adventure game called Neofeud. Neofeud is a science fictional "cautionary tale" in that it suggests a pretty dark potential future, one that we'd probably like to avoid. In Neofeud, the trend of increasing inequality has continued to the point where the elite have become literal kings over the destitute commoners. There is the equivalent of the Palace of Versailles literally floating above an endless cross between an L.A. slum, a Mexican shantyland and a gargantuan Blade Runner 2049-esque landfill. It’s a world where the marginalized (robots and chimera part-humans) have to pass a ‘consciousness test’ to even be *considered* a person, and are easily discarded, disappeared, used for borderline slave-labor or to prop up a prison-industrial complex.

Neofeud is a world in which democracy is not merely in jeopardy, as it is today, but a footnote to history. There is no constitution, no civil rights, no labor rights, no human rights -- all the progress since the Enlightenment has been rolled back. It's a scary, but easily plausible world, if good people simply do nothing but continue the status quo, day in and day out.

While Neofeud is a 15+ hour game, and engaging in and of itself (at least it is meant to be), it was deeply influenced by my own experiences. I am from Hawaii, and a native Hawaiian, who grew up in the ghetto. Yes -- they do exist, even in Hawaii. Most of the folks in my neighborhood were and still are non-white, and a large percentage are immigrants. Families in my neighborhood were and still are sardined packed, with ten or twenty relatives squished into a single-family house. Pork and beans or vienna sausage over rice on a daily basis was the norm, growing up.

After college I taught an after-school STEM (science technology engineering and math) program to under-resourced youth in Honolulu. Many of the kids I worked with were in truly horrible circumstances, many with parents incarcerated or out of their minds on drugs, many homeless, living in vans, some even getting beaten in the street for sleeping on the sidewalk. These were kids who had parents in prison, or perhaps even worse, parents who were working multiple jobs and *still* they were living out of cars or tents. And right up the street, there were multi-million dollar mansions. I myself, along with my wife and kids, were just barely above homelessness, and spending over half my teaching salary to squeeze into a tiny studio or one bedroom.

You could say that Neofeud has a "message", but in another sense, Neofeud is simply me sharing (through the lens of science fiction) my story, and the stories of people whom I have worked with and loved, but whose experiences and voices are often buried. It is my sincere hope that Neofeud doesn’t merely entertain, but also makes players think about the world we’re in, and the one we're heading towards.

The reviews for Neofeud have been mostly positive, but there have been a variety of reactions to the social commentary aspects:

"Has something to tell and does this in a brilliant way, without hitting you in the face with his message."

"Different and cerebral."

"It was too real, too on-the-nose. It gave me chills and made my stomach roll." (To be fair, this reviewer, I believe, meant this in a positive light, but there were a few others who expressed something similar.)

Truth be told, I would much rather be criticized for "having a strong message" rather than making a game without much substance, or merely an entertaining product.

The pre-requisite to democracy is the existence of an informed, civil society, that is capable of governing itself. A network of communities that interact and engage in discussion -- not just insults, caricatures, and flame war. A civic community is not just a hoard of shoppers or a million fans fawning over a movie or game or tech gadget, or a comment section full of people getting their rage "fix" without actually listening to arguments from the other side, or folks angrily blasting avatars of each other and shouting the n-word over voice chat.

So how can we prevent that? One way is by creators making more intelligent, relevant, challenging, and simultaneously enjoyable experiences, along with players, journalists and readers who demand, appreciate, and discuss these games, and other content.

Ultimately, I applaud Bethesda for doubling down on their anti-Nazi stance and marketing campaign.

And I think that we all should double down on taking stands on things we believe to be right -- in our games, and society at large -- while we still have a (relativity) free society in which to do so.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Neofeud Hits Steam September 19!

At long last, Neofeud will be out on Steam this Tuesday, September 19!

The game will be on sale during launch week at 20% off. The base price is $15, so you can get the game at a steal of just $12 for 15+ hours of gameplay, according to latest estimates! The Neofeud soundtrack, which includes 45 tracks and 2 1/2 hours of music will also be available for purchase on Steam.

Here's a recent interview I did with David Cameron of One Up Gaming, where we talk about Neofeud and the modern indie game scene:

The press on Neofeud has also been ramping up lately, and it has been featured recently on sites including Hardcore Gamer, Gamers Global, and Gamasutra.

Here's a roundup of the reviews for Neofeud thus far:

“An immersive cyberpunk adventure game... Echoes of H.R. Giger and William Gibson... [Christian Miller] knows what makes a quality game.”

Brandon C. Hovey

“NeoFeud offers a dozen hours of gameplay that turns out to be a great time for any point & click and SF fan”

Cabinet De Chaologie

“The conspiracy runs deep and is quite massive in scope. Politics meet technology, philosophy meets madness. But even beyond the intrigue itself the world of Neofeud is quite a detailed and intriguing construct, with its own history and lore.”

Indie Game News

"Taking a little more than 15-hours to finish, Neofeud showcases a deep tapestry of plot twists and turns, rich backstories, and action weaved throughout the point-and-click gameplay."

If any reviewers are interested, I do still have Steam review keys- let me know!

Friday, July 28, 2017

Neofeud Teasers, Reviews, and New Projects!

Neofeud Highlight - Deborah Dunaway

Strong female characters in cyberpunk! In this latest Neofeud voice actor highlight, Deborah Dunaway plays literal royalty, as well as a trans-species kid, a Nazi bureaucrat, and more in Neofeud.

I actually met Deb for the first time at a meetup with William Gibson in Kitsilano beach, Vancouver. We've been friends ever since, and apart from donating her vocal talents to the game, she's also backed Neofeud through patreon in the three-figure range. So thanks for that, Deb!

You can get Neofeud, a cyberpunk adventure game with 10+ hours of gameplay, here:

You can follow Deb here:

Neofeud Review!

In addition, a great review of Neofeud was recently published in Here are some excerpts:
"From the makeshift, provisional, use-what-you-can-find architecture of the slums, through the neon-lit gangland underworld to the obscenely green grass of the skyborne islands, the art in Neofeud follows the modern trend of saturated dystopias such as Fury Road..."

"The conspiracy runs deep and is quite massive in scope. Politics meet technology, philosophy meets madness. But even beyond the intrigue itself the world of Neofeud is quite a detailed and intriguing construct, with its own history and lore..."

"Everything about the game just oozes the love for sci-fi: the literary cyberpunk and the 80's and 90's movies...."
Thanks, Fitz, for the great review! Do check out his very well written and imaginative adventure games Gray and Magenta. You can also follow Fitz at @Colm_E_Fitz.

In other news, I am currently investigating a few potential publishing opportunities while simultaneously working on setting up the Steam store for Neofeud. I've been getting some advice from more veteran folks in the game world on how to handle the Neofeud rollout to Steam, and so I'm trying not to rush things. I'm hoping to get a bit more press and more reviews of Neofeud to get it better publicized before it hits Steam, so I'm not setting a date for that right now.

Rest assured, if you purchase or have already purchased Neofeud on, you will get the Steam key, and are helping me to continue to make games as indie devs get the most revenue for their work on Itch than virtually any other distribution site around. So thanks, Neofeud fans!

I am also currently on my next game, "Dysmaton" formerly titled "Forgotten City". This game is currently slated to be a point-and-click adventure like Neofeud, but with more of a post-apocalyptic / "interstellar" setting.

Here's a brief overview / synopsis of Dysmaton:

"Settlers of a new space colony got off to a rocky start, but eventually built up a happy, thriving metropolis... Then the machines took over.

Noria, a young engineer, lost everything the day the automated police forces went haywire. Now, on this failed new homeworld, she needs to survive the hostile environment, dodge the malevolent machines lurking everywhere, and manage her own painful memories of lost family and broken hopes."

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Anaphylactic Shock and Terrorist Tree Housing (Life as a Gamedev Dad)

So here's a little personal slice of life you all who are wondering what goes on while I'm making all these crazy indie games. :)

As I'm working on the latest Silver Spook Games project, I've noticed some sort of allergic reaction going on in my head and lungs over the past week or so, though. Apparently some sort of new flower, bush or tree has decided to shoot its tree-sperm into the air and now I can't think straight and keep waking up in the night feeling like I'm choking! Goddamnit pollen!

Not such great timing as I need all the mental firepower I can get to finish off this new game prototype that I'm working on called Forgotten City which I need to get done by June 30th to enter into this Adventure Game In a Month competition. I was out of commission for a lot of yesterday, and simultaneously the internet gods decided that this is a great week to turn off the spigot on the bandwidth pipe, which caused my livestream to go into anaphylactic shock, along with my human body. (Noirjyre can attest to this! Thanks for sticking around through the 0.1 FPS bits of the stream, Noir! I'd give you a Steam achievement if Neofeud was on Steam yet!)

It was kind of alright since Mrs. Silver Spook had a ladies' night out last night anyway with a bunch of other moms. They went out to a restaurant in town and then went to see Wonder Woman. So I was playing crazy games with the kids and making dinner (microwavable chicken nuggets FTW!) and having them walk on my back and such. Then we got to bedtime routine which involved lighting lavender incense and floating it about the room (a sort of psychological trick that reassures them that there aren't any 'bugs' -- spiders roaches -- even though there aren't. Then bedtime step 2 is I put on this Miyazaki music internet mixtape, then read them bedtime stories. Then step three is praying that Minobot prototype 2 (3 year old son) wouldn't totally flip out when mommy wasn't there for night-night. He also goes into a sort of anaphylactic or emotional shock when it's sleepy time and mommy's not there. He woke up about an hour in screaming, and so I had to come back into the room and lie down on the floor next to him to get him to stay down and stop crying.

Finally got him down but unfortunately I was having choking feelings all night, like right at that point where your breath starts slowing down, my brain kept waking me up and telling me that I was suffocating or drowning. I really hope this allergy shit goes away and the Loratadine starts DOING ITS ONE JOB so I can not be a 10 IQ sleep-dep zombie during this final week of gamedev before the competition.

Anyways, one other thing, some of you may have caught on the back channel is that I'm working on building a tree house -- actually, I'm technically trying to install a makeshift ladder into a 'hazard tree' that is leaning like a sword of Damocles over our house at the moment. I need to get the ladder up so I can get to a point on the tree high enough to cut it such that it doesn't endanger the house. But my daughter has been following me up the ladder, and has invoked her powers of "Children's Eminent Domain", claiming the tree installation as her "Tree House". (Never try negotiating children out of their daydreams -- it makes negotiating with terrorists seem like a cakewalk). So what's happening now is I'm planning to convert this horrible danger to life, limb, property and mental health called 150 foot Acacia tree, into an actual tree house, whilst subversely also working on chopping off the top 100 feet of it, while she's not looking. Or perhaps, I will chop the tree down to size, and convince her that it's much better to have a shorter tree house... Reverse psychology this shit and sell it as, "A Tree Tiny-House!" It works on Millenial Hipsters, I don't see why it shouldn't work on Generation Z, or A1 or whatever these whippersnappers will be called when old people need something to mean-spiritedly generalize them as.

Monday, June 12, 2017

"People Can't Handle The Future": The Truth About Science Fiction

This is a reaction to a question in a cyberpunk writing group, which devolved/evolved into something of a rant on my part.  But ultimately, I think it does offer some insight into at least how some science fiction and fiction generally is written.  Here's the original question:
"I'd like to address the timing of technology and its impact in our fictional worlds. Specifically what I'm referring to is the sequence in which certain technologies are used in fictional worlds. For example, in Gibson's Sprawl Trilogy, interactive holograms (he likely uses a different term) aren't uncommon. I specifically remember the English boy Kumiko could summon with the device she carried with her. The boy was a hologram that she could interact with, not physically but verbally.
The point of this post is that unless there has already been breakthrough technological advances in artificial intelligence in the world, this type of technology would be impossible. Therefore, authors are forced to think through what other technologies have been invented and to what extent. Another example, if you include sophisticated nanotechnology in your writings, that opens up a monumental can of worms. Nanotechnology will change everything. So an author is forced to think through what his or her world would be like if nanotechnology has been around 15 years or 50 years. How would that reshape the world? It's mind-bending to conceive it.

I could go on and on and on about this, but I'm curious how much thinking and planning all of you put into your work when deciding how technologies are presented. I mean, if you have interactive holograms, you have sophisticated AI. If you have high-grade AI, what else might be present? Or, what wouldn't be present? How will that change things?"

Gibson himself had no idea how the technology he was describing actually worked. I think I remember him once saying that he imagined that computers, 'Had some sort of Star-Trek crystals inside, not these clunky, mechanical structures.' Also, in Neuromancer, 2062, Case is peddling, "3 megabytes of hot RAM", when a.) that much RAM was already worthless within a few years. b.) Nobody pays money for hot 'RAM' as RAM isn't for data storage of valuable info, but 'random access' during operation.

Gibson basically just walked into an arcade, saw kids totally engrossed in these video game things, trying to reach through a screen, and then imagined that there was a real space behind that screen. Voila, cyberspace.

If anything his genius was in his insights into human beings, and their relationships to each other, their artifacts, and their bodies. I honestly cannot think of a better writer, sci-fi or otherwise. Neuromancer was a masterwork, a biting satire and cautionary tale of Reagan/Thatcher-era economics in a world dominated by 'markets' where 'greed is good' and technology amplifies greed and criminality, with no thought of the human 'meat'.
But the truth is, most of his "science" is a lot of techno-hocus pocus that he found in a magazine or heard in a tech conference, and thought sounded cool, and evocative, so he threw it in some technopoetry.  But what sounds cool and evocative, and insightful and beautiful is not the same as what is technically correct, scientifically accurate, and the way the world really is, or the way the future really will be.  I say this being the most massive William Gibson fan.

And the truth is, if you really, really think things through, and try to draw the most realistic, or at least most technically accurate picture of the future... It will be kind of insanely off-the-wall and people will think you're crazy, or it will be totally boring. Like, who would have predicted in 1985, even 2005, that billions of people around the world would spend huge amounts of time chasing virtual fantasy animals on the street (Pokemon Go) or watching *other people* play video games, and make stupid jokes? That the guy with more views than the biggest Hollywood star, the President or the Pope, would be some Swedish Youtuber screaming and making fart jokes while gaming? No one would buy that book in 1985, in 2005, and probably not even now. But that is cyberspace. Not a bunch of James Bond / Oceans 13 console cowboys hacking the planet in trenchcoats with razorgirls, but people watching each other play video games and act like idiots.

The truth is, people can't handle the future. People don't actually want the future, because it is too weird, too boring, and it tells them something about themself that they don't want to hear. IMHO, District 9 was the best science fiction movie in decades. But it's been mostly forgotten, because it threw in people's faces an ugly reality that an alien contact would probably not be about peace or war, but about the way that we generally treat different races/countries. As objects to be exploited for profit, then abused and discarded when convenient. And D9 didn't have Dwayne Johnson or Scarlet Johanssen or something, and people just couldn't handle that.

Anyway, tangent aside, the point is: don't worry too much about the under-the-hood of your future tech, unless it will actually be interesting to your audience.

Monday, June 5, 2017

"We had to dump the residents into the landfill, which was unfortunate."

A short clip from the Neofeud Let's Play that's particularly dystopian, and relevant to our current political climate.  "We had to bulldoze the low-city and dump the residents into the landfill, which was unfortunate." In this episode of 'Let's Play: Neofeud', we visit the bejeweled "upper crust" of the Stratoplex, where the rich debate the best way to cut benefits for poor people. Trump Tower Circa 2027!

If you haven't already, Neofeud is available for $15 on! If you can afford it and you want a 10-hour immersive cyberpunk adventure, go ahead and grab a copy! It will be a huge help with making this next Silver Spook Games project work financially as well. :)

So I've been working on this most recent background for about a week now, and it's taken an incredible amount of time. I think the only background that's ever taken me longer was The Neofeud Sky Palace.
Worth it, though, I think!

So in addition to that, I've been working on hashing out the new story for the successor to Neofeud with some of the folks over at Chaos Nova ( ) which is a group of writers that primarily write in the sci-fi genre. The plan is to put out a prototype of this next game as a test to see how well we work together and what sort of output we can manage, I'm hoping by the end of June. If the prototype pans out, it's likely that we'll work together on a full game. If not, I may end up just working solo again, and there are other potential projects on the table, although those are still pretty preliminary.

Neofeud at this point is at around 350 votes on Steam (but we can always use more- so get out on Steam and vote up now! ). I'm still hoping that it will squeeze by before the end of Greenlight but we'll see.

You can also vote for Neofeud on Good Old Games (GOG) here:
In addition, I've been doing a bunch of promotional video clips and livestreaming every Saturday to help out those who contributed to Neofeud (including all of my generous Patrons). Here's one of the most recent ones I made for Neofeud voice actor Brandon Hovey:

The next video I'm hoping to make is for Deborah Dunaway, another one of Neofeud's biggest supporters, Patreon patrons, and a longtime friend from the William Gibson Board.
So that's what's going on over here. Thanks again to all my patrons @ssmigiel, @bittersweetdb, @Noirjyre, and @benjaminpenney for all of your help and support!

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Neofeud Short Story Collection is on Amazon!

The Neofeud Short Story Collection is now available on Amazon for Kindle and paperback!  

Help support Silver Spook Games and expand your kindle library at the same time!  

"In a dystopian future, the one-percent hover in glimmering golden sky-castles above a wasteland of destitution. A young 'low-born' seamstress' only chance to go from Cinderella rags to Kardashian riches is to be 'noticed' in a cosplayer competition, and to marry a ultra-wealthy prince or be picked up for a TV show by a megacorporation -- all while dealing with poor body-image and self-esteem issues, resulting from a society that doesn't need or want her.

A sentient machine, one of millions of 'defective prototypes' mass-produced by tech-giants, winds up in a 'machine prison' due to 'substrate profiling' -- robot is the new 'black'. He's beaten, abused, and finally teams up with the robo-convicts to jailbreak from the supermax facility.

Neofeud is a cautionary tale, a dark vision of where we may all be heading very soon, if we aren't careful."

You can also find  the Neofeud Short Story Collection on if you prefer. :)

Monday, May 1, 2017

Kathy Rain - 90's To The Max!

There's all this bloviation on the internets now about whether games can or should tell good stories, which I feel is utter BS. As such, I am going to be heavily emphasizing the story-aspect of games in my reviews from here on. So suck it, or 'eat me', as Kathy Rain, AKA 'Ms. 90's', would undoubtedly say.
Kathy Rain is a sparkling, totally-too-cool-for-school alt rocker gem of a point-and-click adventure game. On the surface, it's a mystery story about a misanthropic college girl-cum-detective who is brought back from college to her quaint hometown due to the passing of a family member.  The usual investigation- finding clues, following up on leads, putting rubber chickens in pulleys combining objects in your inventory is the name of the game.  As adventure games go, it is not terribly hard (or perhaps I'm just getting more used to the usual logic of p-n-c adventure designers) but also none of the puzzles are designed to be intentionally obtuse, as often occurs.

My inner 16-year-old Smashing Pumpkins-fan loner self loves Kathy Rain. The goth chicks at my high school scoffed at Titanic posters with *exactly* her smirk. Kathy is all abut ripping on the excesses and ridiculousnesses of late-20th century American culture, from her Jesus-and-DiCaprio-loving roomate to Captain Kangaroo and lazy law enforcement. If you're more than 18 years old, this game is like time-traveling, complete with the corded phones, phone books, tape recorders, Nirvana clothing styles, and, come on... 'Eileen'? :) The fact that that aspect of the game is so believable is a big credit to the developers, Clifftop Games.

Beneath the eyebrow piercing, raven-dyed, perma-snarky veneer of Kathy's, this game is basically Stranger Things, as a video game, with more 90's nostalgia than 80's (game is actually set in '95). You have all the David Lynchian "American Gothic" Suburbia, the damaged-goods girl from the broken-home, with an overlay of surrealist psyche-diving paranormal activity. Why are all these mysterious killings happening in our beautiful Edward Scissorhands-like town? What made Kathy so damn snarky and alcoholic? Where are her parents?

I really liked the way that the long history / psycho-geography of the Rain family narrative is woven in -- from an upstanding World War II hero 'Pillar of the Community' who spawned a rebellious Kerouac-ian Hells Angel whose neglect gave way to the barbed, troubled alt-chick protagonist. Kathy Rain at its core is perhaps about the subconscious cycles of trauma that echo through time. It is inward gazing, at times -- you literally play INSIDE Kathy at certain points -- but thankfully without resorting to annoying levels of omphaloskepsis. Excessive whining and crying the second tear, was, after all, another signature of the 90's (coughAlanisMorissettecough).

So, storytelling wise? Kathy Rain kicks ass.

All in all, I give Kathy Rain 4.5 tear-flavored raindrops out of 5. Great job, Clifftop Games!

Check out Kathy Rain here.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Considering Making An Indie Game? READ ME!

So I've yet to do an official "post-mortem" piece on Neofeud, mostly because I'm too busy running on 52 cylinders trying to get it on Steam, get visibility and sales up as high as they can be, and everything else that goes along with releasing your first official commercial game.  And RL.

But, I just read this article from Indiewatch, a horror story from a first-time developer who suffered setback after setback after setback for several years, and I felt total sympathy and absolutely had to comment.  If nothing else, to help others avoid some of the of the pitfalls who are thinking about plunging into the adventure, or as I term it, "The Odyssey" of making an indie commercial game.  Without further ado:


For me, making a game seemed like a brilliant idea!  I’ve wanted to make one as far back as when the Atari 2600 was considered the most powerful console.  So why not give it a try?  It would be a good life experience and I also would be doing something I enjoy.  What could possibly go wrong?

My response:

"A great read, and a wild trip man. Good to hear that you came out of it. As an indie dev who blew 2 1/2 years on a game with a different set of trials and tribulations, I can only say, I empathize. You're making the best decision of your gamedev career at this point to do something small, and the second best decision of your career to work on your game solo. I'm going to badly paraphrase Doom's creator, John Romero now: "You don't just make Doom. First, make Pong. Then, make Space Invaders. Then make Mario. Then, eventually, you make Doom." Which is to say, it sounds really great to want to just make that giant MMO right off the bat, and it seems like a waste of time to work on these smaller projects that probably won't net much revenue at all, but this mindset is truly the biggest pitfall.

Gamedev is in many ways more complex than film-making, which is one of the most complex and risky endeavors you can take on. You are going to make mistakes, just like the first time you ride a bike, or the first time you buy a house. Making the mistakes early, on a small project, before things can get painful, expensive, and full of drama and potentially lawsuits, is the way to go. I always plan for everything to go 4x as bad and take 4x as long as I think, and I calculate into the schedule all of these Black Swan disasters, like my computer exploding and two of my backup drives being lost or stolen simultaneously. So I have 6 backups. I have literally had multiple backups go out simultaneously, so I have not regretted the decision.

Plan to have anyone that you bring into a project abandon that project at some point unless they are making enough money to pay all their bills *during the project*. This is why I brought zero people onto my project when I made my first official commercial game. It took me over a decade to get enough experience to do the writing, art, programming, music, and half the voice acting for my game, and I realize that is not a price that everyone is willing to pay. But then you could also spend ten thousand dollars, and years of your life trying to skip ahead, only to wind up with nothing, also. Again, Romero made 300-something games over the course of more than a decade before he made Doom.

At any rate, good luck with your next game, and I truly hope that it succeeds for you this time!"

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Shardlight - A Post-Apocalyptic French Revolution (My Review)

I've just finished my playthrough of Francisco Gonzalez (Grundislav Games) Shardlight, a post-apocalyptic steampunk adventure, and now I want to go hang-gliding with a top hat and a Victorian coat, curing uber-tuberculosis patients in a Fallout-like wasteland. By which I mean, I loved Shardlight. Here's a summary of the game (from
At its very core, Shardlight's story is vintage post-apocalyptic. A catastrophic event — good old-fashioned nuclear war in this case — has drastically changed life forever and surviving in the world is downright difficult. In Shardlight there are two classes of people, the Aristocrats who are in charge of the new world order, and common folk who are just trying to survive. You play as Amy Welland, a lowly mechanic, who stumbles upon an underground rebellion seeking to take down the Aristocrats. This turns out to be problematic for Amy, as she wants to enter a lottery to win a vaccine for the deadly disease known as "green lung." By performing dangerous jobs for the Aristocrats, common folk can earn a lottery ticket to try and win a vaccination, but now Amy has been tasked with spying on the rebellion!

The game itself is very well written, and to me strikes me as something like Fallout (the 90's-golden-age RPGs) if Brian Fargo and Tim Cain had been obsessed with the French Revolution and Dickensian period, rather than Leave It To Beaver 50's idealism. The world has ended, and you've got all the Mad Max trappings -- scrappy survivors using ammoless guns to light campfires started with 30-year old turpentine, rubble and dreary single-hue color schemes everywhere, rotting corpses. But instead of a Pip Boy and Star Trek jump suits, you have wig-headed aristocrats lording it up in the still-standing skyscrapers, done up inside to resemble Versailles. The corpses are not fed on by mutants or deranged clusters of cannibals, but rather, Edgar Allen Poe's ravens. The Grim Reaper plays a big role.

 My favorite part of Shardlight, apart the completely enjoyable characters (Tiberius the Alpha Aristocrat and pretentious / psychotic pontificating asshat is near the top of the list) was the play of subtext, the witticisms in the interweaving tapestry of tropes of Post-Apocalypse (tm) and Tale of Two Cities Europe. The dirt-faced urchin children, playing jump-rope to nursery rhymes like, 'The Reaper Comes For You' like the gang in Oliver Twist, against a backdrop of a 21st-century skyline annihilated by nuclear blast. Resistance movements somewhat akin to the Brotherhood of Steel, but wearing feathered caps and wielding swords and crossbows, rather than miniguns and power armor. Nuclear wasteland-ravaged Robbespierres, plotting in basements through code phrases and messages steganographed into artwork and signs, awaiting their moment to strike a coup and let the Palace Royalty know what they think about, "Let Them Eat Cake" (Let them eat lottery-jobs in this case.)

 As a purely post-apocalyptic story, or a purely historical story, Shardlight would've still been a good game. But where it elevates into a truly original, truly great experience, is in these moments of genius. A game after my own heart, having done a culture-mashup not dissimilar to Shardlight, albeit with a slightly different sub-genre of science fiction, and instead of the French Revolution, a more 'Feudal' era of history. ;)

I give Shardlight five radioactive fragments out of five.

P.S. Be sure to check out Grundislav Games' upcoming title, Lamplight City!

P.P.S. And then check out the rest of the publisher, Wadjet Eye Games' titles!  They are all awesome!

Friday, April 7, 2017

So, if you were thinking of getting Neofeud, I recommend doing it by this Saturday, because until April 9th:

Which essentially means you get the entire soundtrack (2 1/2 hours of music) and the original screenplay, for free!


In addition, if you're more of a bookworm type, Neofeud - The Original Script is now available on Lulu for four bucks. :)

Neofeud has been featured this week on Game Jolt!

So what's next for Silver Spook Games?

A Neofeud 2, or another Silver Spook Games project is on the proverbial 'table' at the moment, but this is of course contingent on the success of Neofeud 1. If I can free up enough time and make the finances work (I'm a husband and dad with two kids so I've got other 'stakeholders' to pitch to) then there is definitely the possibility of a sequel in the cards.
I am in talks with some other folks and there are a lot of potential projects on the table. It's still early days post-release of Neofeud, so we'll see how well the game does, and go from there. There are a few things in the protean phase, but it is kind of top secret right now!

Neofeud Deluxe Edition 25% Off! And Neofeud 2!

So, if you were thinking of getting Neofeud, I recommend doing it by this Saturday, because until April 9th:

In addition, I'm currently working on a 'Let's Play' Walkthrough for Neofeud (because boy are my fingers tired of typing out hints to the growing number of Neofeud players!)

Which essentially means you get the entire soundtrack (2 1/2 hours of music) and the original screenplay, for free!


In addition, if you're more of a bookworm type, Neofeud - The Original Script is now available on Lulu for four bucks. :)

Neofeud has been featured this week on Game Jolt!

So what's next for Silver Spook Games?

A Neofeud 2, or another Silver Spook Games project is on the proverbial 'table' at the moment, but this is of course contingent on the success of Neofeud 1. If I can free up enough time and make the finances work (I'm a husband and dad with two kids so I've got other 'stakeholders' to pitch to) then there is definitely the possibility of a sequel in the cards.
I am in talks with some other folks and there are a lot of potential projects on the table. It's still early days post-release of Neofeud, so we'll see how well the game does, and go from there. There are a few things in the protean phase, but it is kind of top secret right now!

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Ghost In The Shell Review

Ok, so GITS the movie has definitely exceeded my expectations, which were colored by teh interwebz.  That's the last time I listen to your opinion, cyberspace!

It is definitely CPAF, but with some unique texture to it.  The obligatory Blade Runner cityscape-age is redolent of the Total Recall remake, to me.  Lives up to Masamune Shirow's brainchild, I feel, even if it's slightly Hollywoodized.  It takes Ghost In The Shell 1, throws it in a blender, and reassembles the sinew and bone and synapse back together such that you recognize the DNA (the thermoptic-camo water fight, the self-mutilating kill of the spider tank scene are near-verbatim) but with a wholy unique story.  

It doesn't quite take GITS to the next level, asking or answering any questions posed by the highly-philosophical, metaphysical series, nor does it pioneer into previously unmapped territory, cinematically speaking a la The Matrix, but it does have it's own unique 'self'.  Its own original 'ghost', if you will, and not just another popcorn action thingy.  (Although we scarfed multiple refills of large, heavily buttered popcorn for this flick!  It's got teh actionz, no doubt!)

There's been a lot of CG tricks and such with regards to humans with prosthetics, androids, (Ex Machina the most recent exploration thereof) but the way the Major is handled has that 'lived in' sense, that gritty reality to it, as she is fighting her brain's embodiment into this foreign, corporate-perfected husk of synthetic nerves, steel, and alabaster dermis.  You get the sense, from ScarJo's performance, that she is in fact going through a sort of bodily dysphoria, and social alienation, as she attempts to adjust to her new 6-million-dollar-body.  

I was also surprised by how well they handled Motoko Kusanagi's transformation into the Platonic (and very much caucasian) 'ideal beauty', and the scene with the mom was deeply touching.

I'm also glad that they gave Takeshi "Beat" Kitano, a chance to really unleash himself, after his little blip of a presence in the last American would-be Blockbuster scripted out of cyberpunk lore -- Johnny Mnemonic.  Being a huge fan of the guy, I feel they finally let Kitano do his stoic Yakuza badass thing, in the role of Mamaki.  He's really the most menacing entity in the entire movie, with just a nature-rendered body and an ancient revolver, and he really brings a gravitas and grounding to the massively computer-modified neon smorgasbord.

Wish we could've got more into Togusa, Batou, and all of the gang, and again, there's not a whole lot of new narrative, societal-poltical, science fictional, or other ground explored in GITS: Live Action, but hey, it is a big live-action movie, and you've got 90 minutes to make multi-millions, and you can't talk for twelve-plus hours like an HBO 'Prestige TV' series.  You have to 'ninja slam, machine gun bam, thank you Johannsen ma'am' and get the hell out of there before everyone falls asleep or the LA Brass calls in Michael Bay and nukes your green screen Tokyo set from orbit.

I give Ghost In The Shell Movie 3-out-of-4 lucky ninja stars in a Chiba pawn shop window.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Chronicles of the Princess Ka'iulani's Revenge, Chapter 4

(Continuation of the story of our family's homesteading adventure to the Big Island of Hawaii)

So there we were, myself, Mrs. Minotaur and the kids, our second vessel capsized, the maroon Saturn's starter kaput, marooning us in the Prince Kuhio shopping center. (yes, we Hawaiians are big on our royalty, thank you, Britain)

Our second car in two weeks, blown out by a decade of tradewind-tossed sea salt and sulfur dioxide, from lava-boiled seawater.  Note to all future voyagers: the Big Island kills cars and takes no prisoners.

We'd blown through over three thousand dollars now in cars, car repairs, hotel stays due to our technical homelessness, tows.  And there we were, for the second Saturday in a row, stuck in a shopping center whose doors would be closing at midnight, with no repair shops open to even tow the car to.  No spare clothes, no tent (all still at the campsite, 15 miles north-north west).  A few cans of generic-Wal Mart chili, green beans, a handful of stray Nature Valley granola bars.  Two cups-worth of potable drinking water in a gallon jug. 

No friends or family or anyone we felt we could bring the car to.   If we even attempted to stay in the car, security would come around, and then we'd have to go through the long, sordid and embarrassing process of explaining to them our current temporary house-less situation.

We had some money saved up, but at this rate, we would burn through it all and be left with nothing in short order.  We'd tried for rentals but they'd all been snatched up, or only wanted "single tenants", and the others we couldn't get to because the cars kept dying.

GR and I were on the edge of nervous breakdown.  I had to do some forced-breathing stuff to stop from hyperventilating. 

Maybe we didn't know what the hell we were doing?

Maybe everyone on Oahu was right, maybe we'd made a huge mistake?  Taken too big a risk?

Maybe this was the end?  Maybe it was time to paddle back, with our broken sail, tail between our legs, to that big soul-sucking concrete jungle?  Look in my family's eyes, stricken with shame, as they'd say, "We told you so."

"Just send out an SOS on Facebook.  Instagram.  Anywhere, anyhow.  There's got to be someone around here that can help us!" I said, having already done it once, and not wanting to overstay the welcome in the particular home-schooling group that we'd joined up with.  My stomach was literally wrenching with anxiety, bile burning the back of my throat as we tapped out on cooking our own food and just walked to the nearest fast food joint (Burger King).  A little later, the kids were throwing gravel in the Starbucks parking lot, and we had to yell at them to stop, unable to get to a park, a beach, anything.  They asked us, "When we'd have our house?  When will we have our big house?"  I think that was about the part we cried.

But within fifteen minutes of sending out the call for help on Facebook, we got one, then two, then three responses. 

"Hey!  Looks like you guys are in a bind!  We'd love to help out some fellow homeschoolers.  I'm putting the little one to sleep but let us know how long you need to stay!"

"We may have something to help you out more long term if you're having trouble with the rentals..."

GR worked it out with a super nice couple who happened to be transplants from Oahu as well.  They'd had an entire bottom floor, with kitchen, bathroom, guestroom, unused for a year or more.  They offered to pick us up. 

As if by magic, the Saturn started as the sun went down (something to do with temperature and the swelling/shrinking of copper coils.)  So we ended up driving over, and got put up for the night, with the offer of more if we needed it.  The guy was super-friendly, wearing an Ergo carrier with his 18-month old.  It was a little queen size thing in a small room, but it was the best bed I'd ever slept in. 

I'd helped out a lot of homeless kids and families in my time at the social work job, but I don't think I really had any idea about what it's really like, till then.

Another lesson: do not be afraid to reach out!  This is a hard one for introverts and lone-wolf DIY-types like myself and my wife.  Especially on a place like the Big Island, your network, your ohana, the people around you are the most important thing you've got.

So we spent the next day in Hilo at our gracious guests place as ANOTHER family offered to help out with the vehicle.  Another super nice group, the mom, dad, and a teenager came over.  Dad was a super chill hippy-dude with a black bandana, a never-ending stream of Camel cigarettes, and crazy mechanic chops.  He and his son worked on the car, basically for free, for the next day.  He hoped he could get it done in half an hour, but what might've been just the battery or alternator turned out to be the starter itself, and later there was the issue of a slow gas leak in the return line...

All in all, they worked for two days, and we stayed two nights with our guests.  The Minokids had a blast playing with the Hilo house-owners young ones- apparently they really wanted to meet more families as the homeschool group in Hilo town itself was a bit sparse.  The mom made the kids corned beef and spinach/kale on rice (never heard of it myself, might've been a Philipino thing) and the dad set up the Raspberry Pi arcade machine for them to game on.  I told the dad (who happened to have a computer programming degree like me) that if I ever hired on for Neofeud 2 or other Silver Spook Games projects, that I'd keep him on speed dial. 

That's pretty much how stuff seems to work around these parts.  They call East Hawaii "The Wild West", but really it's more like, "The Human West", in the sense that everything happens on a person-to-person and community scale.  There's no giant government or corporate entity mediating all your relationships.  There is some, mostly in the 'bigger' town, but it's limited.  People help each other out, and when they need help, they get it.  If you're a dick, then people are a dick to you.  That seems to be why a lot of folks who try to make it here end up quitting.  Cause they think they're in corporate, suburban America, where they can just lawyer up or call the cops on the neighbor's noise or dog or unpermitted structure and make people disappear.  On Oahu, you could do that.  But on the Big Island, you have to deal straight with the folks around you, for better or for worse.

So the really, really good news is, we've finally got our place, like a bonafide house with four walls, a roof, sink, hot water (paloma heater / point of use), washing machine, Time-Warner high speed internet, all that good 21st century amenity stuff.  It's crazy to think that if we hadn't sent up the smoke signals through Facebook when we had, we might've never gotten the place.  Almost like the whole nerve-wracking soul-wrenching breakdown thing was meant to be, some kind of synchronicity.  We can chalk it up to dumb luck, but around here we've got a lot of woo-woo astral plane types who are in an alternate timestream of the 60's, and they would say it was the cosmic energy of the universe righting itself.  The yin, equalizing the yang.  Tekaa, doused by Tefitti.

Spiritual psychedelics and tangential political diatribes aside, the voyage of the (now functional) Princess Ka'iulani's Revenge II continues.